why your measurements and age do not matter to me as a professional dominatrix

There's a peculiar assumption that arrives in my inbox with reliable regularity: the idea that what I want to know about a submissive’s height, weight, age, measurements, as though they were auditioning for a modelling job rather than writing to a dominatrix.

Let me correct this, once and clearly.

I could not care less what my submissives look like. I do not care how young they are. These details, which many lead with as though they were currency, are worth nothing to me. Because they are genuinely irrelevant to what I am evaluating.

Here is what actually matters to me.

Respect, from the very first word. Not performative reverence. Actual respect, for my time, my boundaries, my instructions, my personhood. This is the foundation everything else is built on, and it is non-negotiable. “hey” will get you absolutely nowhere with me. i am a dominatrix, not a farmer. i also do not reward minimum effort.

How you communicate. Your first messages tell me almost everything I need to know. Are you clear? Are you thoughtful? Do you write like someone who respects my time, or like someone firing off the same copy-pasted message to a dozen inboxes? Communication is the first test, one that a lot fail before they have said anything of substance.

what your active listening skills look like. I give directions. Precise, deliberate orders. A good submissive absorbs them, understands them, and follows them. A bad one nods along and then does whatever they were already planning to do. I notice the difference and this also comes across in written communications i receive.

Whether you can take care of yourself. Being groomed, smelling good. this isn't about looks. It tells me you thought about how your presence affects me and wanted to make an effort to impress me. It also tells me something practical: how well you are likely to care for yourself after a session, which matters enormously to me. this shows up in small details, and I notice.

Your understanding of service and devotion. this is for those who identify as slaves, service subs or devotees. Service is not a mood or a fantasy you narrate at me. It is follow-through. It is showing up prepared, doing what was asked properly, and caring whether you have done it well, not only because you will be praised and rewarded for it, but because doing it well and pleasing me is what your thrive for.

Notice what is not on that list: Your face. Your body. Your birth year. None of it moves the needle, because none of it tells me anything about what I am actually assessing: whether you would make a good submissive to me.

So if you are intending on writing to me and reaching instinctively for your stats, pause. breathe. Delete that paragraph. Replace it with something that actually tells me who you are, how you think, how you listen, what your experience is (i welcome people with no experience with a good attitude), what your true intentions are.

these are what will get my attention.